Memoria Eternia

Don't you make me happy?

Emily and me have finished our marathon of Cardcaptor Sakura! I wondered if we'd be able to watch the whole thing, but mainly I was worried about her stamina more than my own. I could watch that series all day, it sums up everything I like! It is very cute and sweet and innocent and nice (even though there are some strange things in there I suppose - Emily was quite surprised at things like Terada-sensei's behavior, and how obvious even she who is not trained to see these things thought Touya and Yukito's relationship was. But it is things like this that make it an even more interesting series!) and of course it has the wonderful Tomoyo in it. Tomoyo is maybe my favorite character from any anime, she just makes me so happy and so sad both at once! The end of the series, like the end of the manga, is one I don't particularly look forward to. I was happy though because Emily didn't seem happy with it either, but perhaps I have been talking about Tomoyo and Sakura to her too much and I have brainwashed her, hahaha. Brainwashing for the sake of Sakura and Tomoyo is the best kind of brainwashing though, don't you think?

Itsumo special to you...

I have been making Emily watch some of my anime collection, hahaha. She seems to be enjoying it, which is all I can ask of her! I am just glad that she doesn't hate things that are my favorites, but since she likes things that are pretty and cute, a lot of the things that I like are things that she will like too (though saying it like that doesn't make it sound very flattering, does it?)... I wonder about getting her watching things like Sukisho and Loveless... maybe even Prince of Tennis! Well, I don't know if Prince of Tennis would be the kind of thing that she would enjoy. But it is so addictive! Surely I can get her to watch it?

Haha she is over my shoulder again wondering what I'm plotting to the internet about her. I'll get you watching Prince of Tennis eventually!

She is shaking her head, haha. Time will tell.

I am writing this entry with Emily over my shoulder! I am telling her that she should get a Livejournal but she is refusing even as I type this, hahaha! She says that if she wants to read my Livejournal then she can just do it over my shoulder. I have to admit, this is good logic. (She's smiling and saying "of course it is!" hahaha.)

Oh! Again, it has been a while since I last posted. Things have been quite strange over here, but those are not the sorts of things I would want to talk about in a public journal, hahaha. I am going to take this weekend to relax and catch up with my anime, it feels like far too long since I have been able to do something like that! Things have been very busy. The girl that I mentioned going for a drink with a while ago, her name is Emily, and I am still seeing her. Does this make us girlfriends? Are we 'dating'? It makes me wonder. It took far less for Ruth and I to decide on our partnership, but things have been so much more harried with Emily. Well, talking like that makes it all too obvious what I am talking about! Is this strange? I still look back on what I shared with Ruth and wonder if it touched me so deeply to change me so much. With her, everything was so slow and measured and deliberate. With Emily things have been so much faster, is this a good or a bad thing? I don't know. We can only find out!

This weekend is my weekend though, hahaha.

Stranger and stranger.

Tonight was very strange.

For the past couple of weeks, there has been a girl who has visited the Starbucks that I work at regularly. I might not have noticed had she not caught me after my shift today and asked if I wanted to go with her for a drink (at somewhere different than Starbucks!) and I was surprised, but I took her up on her offer. If you don't seize the moment, then what happens? 8D

Still, I was very surprised! Is it that obvious? Or perhaps she doesn't mean anything by it, but once she asked, I realised how often I'd noticed her without noticing her, if you know what I mean.

How surprising!

The Utena movie really is something special, don't you think? Every time I watch it I feel happy. The television series was one I liked a lot but it still doesn't make me as happy as the movie makes me feel. Maybe that's just the shameless romantic in me!

It is decided! I shall go and visit my sister over Christmas. I am looking forward to this a lot!

I have been rewatching this series. I think I have to say that it is my favourite anime that I have seen, more so than Prince of Tennis! Hahaha. There are many reasons to love Prince of Tennis and many reasons to love Maria-sama ga Miteru, of course. I have been looking at the Livejournal communities and they all look very interesting, but I am rather shy about saying anything on these communities. Though, even though I love my little sister so dearly, would it not be a wonderful idea to also have a soeur at soeur_system? I will have to think about it. Though, to say that, I have already been thinking about it, hahaha. Otherwise I wouldn't say it! I shall think about it some more.

I think that Sei is my favourite character, but isn't that what everybody says? When it comes to the Rose pairings though, I think I have a special place in my heart for Rei and Yoshino. They are so very sweet! There seems something very long-lasting about them that I can respect. Of course, they are also cousins, so this perhaps explains that.

Wouldn't it be lovely to be a student at Lillian! I could only wish to be able to go to a school like that! The purity of those dark school uniforms... oh, it makes me have romantic ideas of school now. I am very silly, those days didn't exist! If only Maria-sama had been watching over me back then, do you think that things might have been different?

The more I think about it, the more I'm tempted to take my sister up on her offer nonetheless. I wonder if this would be a good idea or not? The only person who can decide this is me, of course.

It is always in the middle of the night that these thoughts come to me, is it not? I wonder why.

Ruth emailed me earlier. I do not think I shall email her back.

I had a lot of fun in England, as always! I always like to go back there. It is fun to see my little sister! I always worry about her, even if we are good at sending emails at each other. Still, is she all right? Is she behaving herself? Is she following the path of her dreams? I always wonder about these things. However, when I visit her, she always smiles so brightly. It is wonderful to have such a lovely little sister! Sometimes she gets sad and wishes that I could visit more often, or that I could move and live in England. I wonder about this, more than I wondered about this before. Whenever she asked me before I would always laugh it off, because it wasn't something I could do. Here, I have a job and an apartment and a girlfriend, the latter of those three options being the most important part in that Ruth was never a person who wanted to move or change or experience, if I may be so harsh for a moment. I would be excited about England, but it wasn't something that she ever wanted to know about. Of course, now that my sister asks, that most tethering shackle has since disappeared and maybe it would be prudent for a change of scenery. Though, I do worry that to put this on her might be to rely on her too much. We might want to spend time together, but after Ruth I am always worried of imposing too much. Perhaps it is enough just to dream of what might be than destroy an illusion, don't you think? Nonetheless, my baby sister has given me enough to think about on my return back to a big and lonely country.

Hello! Did you remember me? I am very tired at the moment. I will write about the trip when I have recovered from this terrible jetlag!

It is that time of year when I visit my family in England. I always get excited about going to England. Isn't it exciting how such a small place can hold so much in it? Sometimes, in my travels, I have driven across the lands of America for so long that sometimes I have forgotten what it looks like to see a city or even civilization! In England, it is so much smaller, but there is so much beauty there. Of course, while I am there it is difficult to keep up with my internet habits! I must make some sacrifices for the sake of my family, hahaha.

I shall write again when I get back.

You're Fuji!


(Prince of Tennis) Which Seigaku Regular are you?
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Psycho is always fun, isn't it? 83

(But it was a different result I wanted to put on my journal 8/)

It has been a while, has it not? When I went on hiatus I wasn't very sure how long I would really be able to stay away, but I think that it was in everybody's best interests. It has been significantly long enough now that I think that I can explain - Ruth, who was my girlfriend as of just before the hiatus, so to say, is not anymore. It was quite messy and I would rather not speak of it, but to mention it in the context of not wishing to speak of it at the moment, if you could be kind enough to respect my wishes. Like a sad piano melody with a haunting tune, she came and went from my life... it would seem that she is happy now, and I am distant enough from her to be happy for her. It has been too long that I have been relying on her I think, and I believe that what I should do is concentrate on my own happiness before trying to rely on somebody else for that. If I cannot make myself happy then what kind of person am I to hope to make somebody else happy, I ask you? Therefore, I think this is the path to healing. It might take time, but that is at least something I am in possession of.

Thank you Ruth for what you were able to give me and for what you caused me to realise about myself. I shall try to live the kind of life healthy for myself. I would ask, is this what you wanted? But, I feel that it is no longer any of your business. That, I know, is what you would have wanted.

Hiatus.

I hope that everything turns out well for her.

I've kept this journal mainly to browse the communities I've joined for so long now. The more I think of it, the more I think perhaps I should keep this as a proper journal, an actual blog.

I'll think more on it later.